What Makes A Malaysian A Malaysian

1. You can name all the players from the the English Premier League, butaskyou to name one football player from Malaysia, one name also cannot comeout.

2. When StreamyX come, you complain StreamyX too slow. When MaxisBroadbandcome, you complain Maxis Broadband always disconnects. When WiMax come,youcomplain Wimax too expensive. In the end, you say StreamyX still the bestlah.

3. When toll price increase, you complain. When petrol price increase,youcomplain. When you go Starbucks buy RM10 coffee, NO COMPLAINTS.

4. When you cannot find parking in a shopping mall and have to walk veryfar, you complain. When you go inside the shopping mall and there's SALE,run from one end of 1Utama to the other also NO COMPLAINTS.

6. You are always late. And the excuse you give when you're late isalwayseither:
(a) traffic jam (b) no transport or (c) cannot find parking.

7. You have a parent who force you to take science stream in high school,study engineering in Uni, then when you graduate, they ask you to forgeteverything you learnt in Uni and do commerce.

8. You know someone who can specially develop an angmoh accent whenspeakingto a American / British / Australian.

9. You complain against the government in kopitiam, you talk loud loud.Leave anonymous comments on blogs, you also talk loud loud. Attendceremahby DAP, you shout loud loud. Then when Opposition organise a protest andaskyou to go, you dun wan. Scared later kena tangkap by ISA.

10. Every year on the 30th April, you are one of the people belowqueueingup last minute to submit your tax return at the IRB.

11. When you pay RM10 for something that costs RM1, you blame theChinese.

12. When a government service is too slow, you blame the Malays.

13. When a building is not good and collapsed, you blame the Indians.

14. When a Chinese student won a scholarship, you say "Wah! Very cleverhor?" When a Malay student won a scholarship, you say "Aiya! Of courselah!He Malay mah!"

15. When an angmoh stranger kiss you on the cheek to say hello, you veryhappy. When a Malaysian guy kiss you on the cheek to say hello, you slaphim.

神經病...這鍋好笑--大家工作愉快要有笑容哦!

男人在高速公路休息站停車上洗手間。

第一間有人，於是他進了第二間。

一坐上馬桶，就聽到隔壁的人說：「嗨，怎樣，一切還好吧？」

男人覺得上廁所時和人攀談怪怪的，不過為了不失禮，

還是回答了：「還過得去啦！」

然後隔壁的人又說：「你在忙什麼？」

男人覺得有點奇怪，不過還是答道：「我要去台中出差。」

這時聽到隔壁的人說：




我等一下再打給你。我旁邊有個 神經病，每次我和你說話，他都 搶著回答。

好走的路，都是「下坡」

> 有一陣子我常爬山，倒不是因為興趣，而是為了鍛鍊身體。那一陣子我每天早晨都
> 會穿著T-恤、運動褲到離家不遠的小山仙蹟岩去健行，剛開始時，或許是因為平時
> 太不常運動，還沒爬到半山腰便已「呼~呼~」地氣喘如牛，最後乾脆選擇提早下山
> 回家，但想想：「這樣子太丟臉了吧！如果人家問起：『你去爬山怎麼這麼快就回
> 來了啊？』不挺尷尬的嗎？」
>
> 於是，我索性下山時慢慢地走，拖長待在山上的時間，這樣回去了也比較不會被熟
> 人揶揄（一笑之）。下坡的路果然舒服多了！可幾天後又想想：「這樣子有什麼意
> 義呢？」
>
> 於是隔天便又恢復了當初的決心，決定多流點汗，多出點腳力，盡可能地向上爬，
> 當然，又爬得像當初那樣氣喘如牛了！ 然而這麼下定決心地爬了幾週後，體力居
> 然也精進不少！不用花之前八成的功夫，便已可一下子爬到了山頂，愉快地鳥瞰那
> 一帶的景色，沿途還可以輕鬆、悠然地看看樹稍的松鼠，享受早晨清新的空氣與涼
> 風。不但達到了鍛鍊身體的目的，還額外地擁抱了都市叢林裡難得接觸到的芬多精
> 與大自然。
>
> 有的時候我常覺得：人生，就像是去爬一座山一樣，那些好走、舒服的路，往往都
> 是「下坡」！方向都是向「下」的，如果您期待自己的人生向「高」處行，提升自
> 己生命的高度，就必需在偷閒與上進間有所取捨。 可不是嗎？
>
> 面對一個得罪自己的人，要放寬心胸去饒恕他很難，但要順慾去報復他卻很容易，
> 然而這麼做多了，您的氣度與修養就會每況愈下；在學習的路上，若選擇勤奮廢嘻
> 便會很累，但選擇抱枕以暇便輕鬆多了，可這麼做絕對會讓一個學子的成績一落千
> 丈； 做任何一份工作，打拼都會比較累，打混就簡單多了，但時間一久，您在該
> 領域的身價與行情就必會直直跌！
>
> 人生如爬山，好走的路，都是「下坡」。如果您希望自己的修養、學業、工作…能
> 夠有所提升，有所進步，就必需多流點汗，多出點力。
>